I'm Christine Mirror and this is the story that I recently
experience. I'm writing this short diary somewhere in London. I don't know the
exact location where I am but what I only realize is that 38-caliber revolver
with some live shells is in my right hand and I'm completely ready to revenge
them who create and manipulate my entire life.
Where should I start to say? Hmm, let's start with my teenage
life in Miami, Florida, my lovely hometown.
"Ding Ding Ding" The school bell charms and I
finally scream with the enjoyment. It's time to enjoy the freedom after my
harsh day life.
At school, I am a bright kid, friendly to everyone,
an extrovert –
but in the inside, my soul festers more and more each day. I cannot break down
into tears, because I know that I won’t be able to stand up again, gather the scattered
pieces up and go back to the mundane life.
Honestly, my life wasn't that peaceful. My fate starts to
mess up when I was a little creature, before I was born. My father had a car
crash before I was born and he leave my mom and me in this harsh society. What
I had to hear from the adults was always "poor kid, posthumous child,
young girl who needs help desperately". What I heard from my friend was
"Where is your father Christine?, I emphasize your sadness, be a proud
daughter". When I was really young, I seriously couldn't understand what
they are saying. However, I wasn't that stupid. I should be an active person,
be a proud daughter for my mom, and be a self-reliant teenage girl. All the
biased perspective in our society increased my responsibility and restricted
the type of person what I should be.
The responsibilities became a burden, a chain that
strangled me from being free. Yet, I had no one, not even one to discuss.
There, I stood alone, in front of the whole city, in front of thousands of
people. Nobody had time to care about me. They were so busy to catch
up with their lives. Meaningless. No goal. No vision. Nothing they need to
approach to.
Despite of this stressful lifetime, my mom is the only place
where I can recharge myself. The day before yesterday was same as an ordinary
weekday. After escaping from hell, my high school, I arrived at my house and
played fps game what I truly interested in before the dinner. Sharing little
chat with my mom while eating dinner and we sat side by side to see my dad's
pictures.
“Ma, I miss him.”
“I do, too, darling. I see a lot of him in you. The
only thing is that I smell an earth from him, but I smell an ocean from you.”
“What do you mean, ma?”
“From your father, the bravery in his eyes has the
wild dust wind. From you, the bravery in your eyes has the stilled moment of
the wild ocean.”
My eyes were blurred by the deep and pure blue. It
was not easy, facing yourself for so long. The moment was held with my
exhalation. The water bubbles tickled my body. The air was all gone from my
lungs, but I have never felt such comfort, the liberty that I finally found in
me.
After I realized my unusual environment, I have always
considered the thought of others, the view of others. I never tried to
understand deeply myself. Christine Mirror is Christine Mirror. She is not the
one who is created by the evaluation from others. What I have to do is to be
honest on my heart. So, I will do it.
I will keep paving my road on the ocean for the
vision that I keep in my heart - the vision to give a positive influence to the
world. So, Hi. Expect me.
How dramatic story it is! If the story ended like this, you
would be satisfied. Unfortunately, I'm a princess in Disney movie. This can't
be an ending. Just read the next passage carefully.
After the conversation with mom, I went back to my room
normally. Soon, my room starts to twist and becomes smaller than before. For
the next few seconds, my room completely disappear and my eye view goes black
like a screen in television. What I remember after the short coma is the noisy
sound of ambulance in everywhere and white bright light that usually placed in
the hospital when the doctor operates the surgery.
"Ah, Where am I? Ah...." I woke up in this morning with painful feeling on the operating table. Where I am isn't Miami. It isn't even U.S. Actually, I could easily find out that I am in Britain when I watch the emergency number "999" on the wall. What makes me more surprise was the name tag attached on the operating table. "Test subject No. 245? What kind of test are you talking about! I'm Christine Mirror." I intuitively make my mind to change my clothes into norm wearings and escape from this building. I opened the door slightly and no one is on the hallway. I simply believed that it might be a lunch time or another emergency situation might happen. But, when I step forward on the hallway, entire alarms in the building started to make tremendous noise. "Just Run, Christine. Just RUN!!" I ran and ran and ran again to escape but finally I had to enter the random office on the hallway.
For the next hour, men with black suit regularly walk around the hallway. During the hour in the office, I reached at some conclusions like "I'm important person for the group of people called X". At that moment, two scientists slowly walked on the hallway and stopped in front of the door where I am standing. They kept continuing the conversation. However, what makes me frustrated was one of the voice that I heard is exactly the same with the voice of my mom.
"Did you heard the story of Christine? She ran out from the surgery room but no one knows where she is."
"Of course, yes. I can't believe that our test subject escapes the virtual society. She have to stay there for us."
"Yes, she should. Our research must be finished and it will be the most fabulous essay in the history of psychology. How people think about the idea to do experiment through virtual technique?"
"Virtual society...What the hell they are talking? I'm Christine from Miami and I'm still existed in here. How dare they denied the existence of human being." With full of curiosity and little anger, I changed my position to see the disgusting face that defines me as an imaginary person. When I saw their face, every single curiosity that I had changed into the anger. Two scientists on the hallway was my mom and dad.
"But, I miss the chat with her. That was quite interesting."
"Never mind. Christine is just a program to help us research. What's the difference between Christine and the monster in Frankenstein? Haha!"
My hand shivered and my head was up to explode. Then, I saw the 38-caliber pistol on the desk in the office. Without hesitation, I went out of the office and said them. "Sorry, I'm not your monster anymore, Victor." Two bullet sounds were enough to break the silence.
